Every product and game that we review will have a numeric Olive score at the end. This score will be a number between one and ten, ten being the highest. Full reviews will have a “score breakdown” where we essentially break down the score and rate each factor of the product or game. For product reviews, there are five factors that make up the score breakdown: Price, Setup/Install, Ease of Use, Performance, and Features. For game reviews, the factors are Graphics, Storyline, Gameplay, Controls, and Lasting Appeal. Sometimes you’ll see an “N/A” next to a factor. This means that the product or game cannot be rated in this category. For example, there may be a game that doesn’t come with a storyline or a product that we can’t really rate the Ease of Use for because it’s easy to use in the first place (mouse, keyboard, headphones, etc.).
We also do smaller reviews called “Mini Reviews,” which are shorter reviews that have a numeric Olive score at the end, but no score breakdown.
There are special occasions where there will be a review with no score and no score breakdown, the Retro Reviews being one. Sometimes we’ll review something that isn’t a game or a product, but maybe a movie or a book. Those will most likely not have a score attached either.
How We Come Up With the Overall Olive Score
Coming up with the overall Olive score in a review is actually not rocket science like it may appear. We simply average out the scores of each factor in the breakdown (add up the five numbers, then divide by five).
What Each Overall Olive Score Means
10 Olives
While it’s impossible for anything to achieve perfection, this is as close as us mortals will come to such a rating. Anything garnering this score should have a statue erected in its honor. You’ll rarely see a product/game that we review score a 10, but it actually happens every once in a long while.
9 Olives
Falling just short of our most prestigious score, those that score 9 Olives should still be paid the respect of a champion, for this is no easy task. Unfortunately, the one-olive-short score means that you should expect at least one or two minor quirks or general annoyances.
8 Olives
Anything managing 8 Olives is still undeniably worth your time and money, but they may have a few minor flaws that we find annoying.
7 Olives
Sure, a score of 7 Olives is nothing extraordinary, but don’t write it off so quickly. 7 Olives is usually the sweet spot for the all-around crowd pleaser, just don’t expect it to excel in any field.
6 Olives
These are products and games that are fairly decent and show promise when measured against that which we call “average,” but many aspects are missing that would make it good.
5 Olives
It’s a real middle-of-the-road kind of deal when you come across a score of 5 Olives. While it’s hard to make sense of it one way or the other, such a product has undeniable issues or loss of quality that ultimately condemns it to a mediocre existence.
4 Olives
Right at 4 Olives is where you’ll begin to notice large issues in design or execution of a product. While you would be forgiven for thinking, “it doesn’t seem that bad, I’ll risk it,” rest assured, this would probably be a mistake.
3 Olives
While it’s not complete dog feces, you wouldn’t want to brag to your friends about owning a “3.”
2 Olives
While 2 Olives is nothing to kill yourself over, it’s pretty damn close. No enjoyment was gotten out of the review, nor will any joy be experienced should you have the misfortune of coming across this item.
1 Olives
While it’s unlikely that many items will fall within this score bracket, products that score a lowly 1 Olive are simply considered pure crap. Expect an extended period of depression and self-pity from the reviewers unfortunate enough to have spent the time with this terrible excuse for a final product.
